Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A Copy In Copenhagen

When we made our trip to get our visas in Copenhagen a week ago, our hotel was very conveniently located in an area with some prominent tourist sites. So, even though we only had a few hours of tourist-time, we were able to see more than I expected.

Just up the shoreline from our hotel was one of the most famous attractions in Copenhagen: Den lille havfrue, or the Statue of the Little Mermaid. Perhaps unfortunately for some, the real fairy tale behind the Little Mermaid and the history of the statue aren't the happy little stories we might expect.


First, the fairy tale goes like this: The mermaid falls in love with a human prince. The mermaid goes to an evil witch and exchanges her tongue for a potion that will give her legs. Drinking the potion feels like being skewered with a sword. She drinks it and gets some legs, but they aren't the best legs, since it feels like she is walking on swords and her feet bleed (ew) as she moves. Oh and about mermaids: they don't have souls but humans do. The only way the mermaid can get a soul is if the prince marries her. But in the end, he doesn't. So, then the witch gives the mermaid a knife and if she kills the prince and lets his blood run on her cursed feet, she will be made a normal mermaid again. She can't do it and dies -- at this point it is believed Hans Christian Andersen, the author and one of Denmark's most prominent historical figures, later revised the story. Instead of her simply just dying like a mermaid and turning to sea foam, she becomes some ghostly 'daughter of the air' and can gain a soul by doing good deeds and will eventually rise into the Kingdom of God.

The statue, then, was inspired by a rich guy (Carl Jacobson of the Carlsberg brewing family) watching a ballet about the fairy tale. He was so taken with the ballet and its primabella that in 1909 he asked her to model for the statue, created by sculptor Edvard Eriksen. The ballerina wasn't keen on the whole nakedness of the statue and the final statue only has a face inspired by her -- the rest is the sculptor's wife.


From the time of its unveiling in 1913, the statue has had a rough life. There have been three attempts (2 successful) to remove the statue's head. It was returned once and lost once and had to be replaced with a new head. The statue has also had its arm sawed off. The severed arm was returned 2 days later. The statue was blown off its rock in 2003, probably with dynamite. In 2006, a dildo was put in the statue's hand. On several occasions, the statue was painted red or pink.

To top off all that, the statue you get to see is a copy and the real one is at an undisclosed location. Good for you yanks, though, is that if you have statue-envy, you can make a short trip to either Solvang, California or Kimballton, Iowa to see other copies. If you decide to decorate your local copy with a sexy accessory, please send me a picture. The copy in Copenhagen is taking a trip to Shanghai, China for the 2010 World Expo.

Skål!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Sticker Shock

We went to Copenhagen this past Sunday afternoon. Early Monday morning we had to go to the Office of Immigration Services to get our visas. Copenhagen is about a 3 hour drive straight east of Varde, crossing two very long bridges on the way -- and paying a $40 toll. I had to ask what the speed limit signs meant that said 110km/hour with a line through them -- thought maybe it meant "No Speed Limit" but found it actually means 130km/hour (about 80MPH.)

As far as I can tell, the order of events that we should be following to get officially settled with the state of Denmark is this:
  • File applications for visas. We did this well over a month ago. Just like in England, the wife gets hers via her position with an established company and I get one just because I can produce a marriage certificate. Easy living.
  • Get a letter via the post that says your visa was approved. This letter is oddly important but I don't know what it says (all in Danish) -- right now, I have my visa but didn't get the letter yet and this is holding up some other steps.
  • Next, go to Immigration Services and get the actual visa added to your passport -- another big sticker. Once again, mine explains how I am a deadbeat without a job and should be kicked out of the country if for any reason my wife says so. Or something like that -- who knows? It's all in Danish.
  • Next, get our CPR numbers by going to your local Citizen Services branch. This is about the same as a Social Security Number in the USA. You can't get this without your visa-approval letter. The wife was able to apply for hers but I am now in limbo. We also had to sign-up to learn Danish -- this is a brand-new requirement. Apparently the country has been having some immigration issues and this is a step to make folks a bit more committed to living in Denmark and following the rules.
  • Once you have your CPR number, you have to register at the local tax office. This is where things get hazy and confusing, and not because pot is somewhat tolerated here. The wife will very likely qualify for a tax scheme that limits her liability to 25% of income. For me, though, I might not make the cut and could be facing the much higher tax rates that most residents get. The bonus, then, is I can deduct any interest paid in a year -- this adds up and can make buying a home about 20% cheaper. But these are still theories on my part.
  • Once all this is done, we can take our CPR numbers and head to the bank and open accounts. We can also then get the Danish bank cards that are the only type of card that every business here accepts -- many won't take non-Danish credit cards. Almost everywhere here charges you a 3% fee for using a credit card.
  • Once we have bank accounts in hand and put some money in them, we can go buy that house we've always wanted and maybe even lease or buy a car -- but with a 180% tax (no, that's not a typo) included in the price of any car sold here, I don't think we will be getting that Aston Martin the wife keeps talking about! Comparing the 2009 Ford Focus base prices from the Ford USA website and the Ford Denmark websites, the USA price rolls in at about $16000, while the DK price shocks at 250,000 DKK -- around $45,000. Ugh!
Skål!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Zen of Basho

My new blog has a funny name. The name comes from a quote in the 1980 movie Caddyshack where Ty Webb (played by Chevy Chase) shares his own brand of wisdom.

The Zen philosopher, Basho, once wrote:
"A flute with no holes is not a flute...
...and a doughnut
with no hole is a Danish."


But even better, I think it does a good job of reflecting my continuing ignorance about the country I now live in -- since it really has nothing to do with Denmark. First off, I haven't seen any pastries yet that look like the "danish" that we know in the USA. Much to my blog's dismay, I have seen donuts with holes -- every grocery has them.

Some more important trivia worth sharing -- most of these have come up in conversations with folks back home:
  • Denmark is not The Netherlands. It's Denmark -- a different country.
  • Denmark is not Holland. Holland is a region in The Netherlands.
  • They don't speak Dutch in Denmark. They speak Danish. Dutch is what they speak in The Netherlands.
  • Denmark shares land borders with Germany to the south and Sweden (sort of -- there is a bridge) to the east -- but most of the borders are comprised of 4,500 miles of coastline. Norway is directly north but it would be a rough swim.
  • Most everyone can speak English fairly well here. A large part of what is on television is current American television and much of the music we hear is current (or 80's!) music.
  • Denmark has a long-standing and popular royal family, but the government is a parliamentary democracy. The current monarch is Queen Margrethe II.
  • The Kingdom of Denmark also includes Greenland and the Faroe Islands.
  • During World War II, Denmark was occupied by Germany and the official government position was collaboration, but a strong underground resistance was established.
  • The entire country has an almost constant population of 5.5 million -- 4 million less than the population of Chicagoland. 9% of that is immigrants like us.
  • The country is highly unionized with nearly 85% of the workforce being members of unions.
  • Woman enjoy great equality here -- Denmark may have the highest employment percentage of woman in the world.
  • Denmark has few natural resources. Over the last 50 years, they have discovered and developed an industry around oil and gas. Denmark has extended the concept of natural resources to production of items like meat, sugar, and milk and an industry has built up around the machinery used to process these items. Further, they built a shipping industry around the need to move these items.
  • Taxes are very high in Denmark -- I think they cap at 59% of gross income.
  • Cost of living in Denmark is very high -- but wages tend to be high as well.
  • The social system is very developed: health care is guaranteed (they will even pay to send you outside Denmark if timely care cannot be provided by Danish services), and maternity leaves for both parents are extensive. There are many other services as well.
  • Almost all education (yep, even college) is FREE here.
A final note: the population of Denmark is, in general, extremely happy. The country just ranked 1st in a survey done by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. The USA ranked 11th. In this article right here, the writer makes a questionable link between high taxes and happiness that seems foreign to the average American. From conversations with some of locals, I think there is a lot of truth in the simple fact that they don't mind the high taxes because there is a wealth of tangible services that give back to the people. They also simply don't have to worry about what will happen if they get sick or who will take care of them when they get old. That would make me happy, too.




Thursday, May 14, 2009

A River Runs Through It

Little Varde is a nice place to go for a stroll. I finally got out today and did some walking about. A small river winds through town not far from our apartment -- maybe a 5 minute walk. The river is lined with boats bigger than I expected -- probably for both the lake that is further inland and the North Sea that I would guess is a lazy and crooked cruise ten miles to the west.

I've been surprised by the late sunset. According to my wrist watch that thinks it knows when the sun will set, sundown is currently at 9:08. By my estimates, the sun sets oddly slowly here and the last light doesn't leave the sky until well after ten. The wife said that her co-workers said its not long before it doesn't really get dark at night. I find it already screws up my internal clock -- like a subtle jet lag...

All in all, there is a marked difference between the weather here and England. The temperature is about the same but the sky here is mostly clear. In England, it was mostly grey with clouds either coming or going. It hasn't rained yet but I think they get their fair share here.

Just one quick picture from the riverside before I get some sleep!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

That's Right, I'm the Big Winner

Well, after a painstaking selection process of deciding by which blog title's were already taken (sorry, "Eat me, I'm a Danish") the new blog is up and running with my own entry as the winner. Yep, I'm gloating. Thanks to all of you that put in your two kroner.

I don't have much to offer yet -- I've been in Denmark since Saturday and have spent most of that time as a hermit getting caught up on my real job. I've been reading up on Danish food and trying to learn a bit of Danish. I've already learned three new letters (there are only three extras, I think) that apparently somehow mean island, stream, and something I already forgot. My new letters:

Æ Å Ø

Wow. That was exhausting.

We are living in Varde for now, in an apartment owned by the Company. We hope to move into a house -- probably in Esbjerg -- within the next two months or so. Varde is a small town (pop 13,000 or so) and Esberg is a bit bigger (pop 120,000.)


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Ok --gotta run... more later.